Oscar Wilde once said, “They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.” Yet everyone thinks that “forever” is the measure of a successful relationship. And in my humble opinion, we're all thinking wrong.

My most delicious loves have been in the “now.” However, society continues to shove the notion down our throats that “lifelong love” is the ultimate goal. We consider a relationship a failure if it doesn’t stand the permanent test of time.

That’s poison. Timing's everything. Lives changes, people change, circumstances change, and some really fantastic loves can burn out in the blink of an eye. It doesn’t mean they failed. It means they ran their course. And this brevity is by no means a reflection of how much they meant. In fact, I think it’s criminal to use “success” and “relationship” in the same sentence. Relationships aren’t achievements. They aren’t trophies. They’re living, breathing blessings.

When your goal is personal happiness – with or without a partner – a relationship is just the cherry on top of an already-fulfilled life. I tell all my girlfriends, “Want, but don’t need.” The minute you need someone, you’re doomed. Complete yourself. Relationships borne from codependence or a fear of being alone = toxic, toxic, toxic.

I wish we’d stop trying to squeeze our circle-shaped loves through the square pegs of what we think is “normal.” By letting our relationships just BE, I think we’d find some of them would actually last a lot longer.